Before I knew it, I found myself craving sugar around the clock. I was foggy and rapidly cycling through intense depression, anxiety, and fleeting moments of happiness. I was tired all the time. None of my jeans fit - it seemed as though my thighs and abdomen had developed extra padding overnight. My back hurt, my neck hurt - even my boobs hurt. Every part of me felt inflamed and in pain.
I texted my therapist (who happens to also be a holistic expert) and she immediately asked me if I had ever been tested for yeast. Yeast? I had never thought of yeast as anything but that magical organism that gives bread its bounce. But I trust my therapist's intuition, and I looked up yeast imbalance online. Sure enough, I had nearly every symptom, and it explained why I was madly craving sugar - yeast eats sugar, so naturally when it takes over your system like it did mine, it wants more and more and more.
Yes, my friends - in less than a week, I had turned myself into a walking dough ball.
The website I found (www.womentowomen.com) had a helpful list of foods friendly to someone who is trying to cleanse their system of yeast. Do you know how much fun it is? No fun. No fun at all. No bread (obviously). No sugar (also obvious). No cheese (cheese is mold and mold is closely related to yeast). No mushrooms (mushrooms are a fungus, the same Kingdom as yeast). No peanuts or pistachios (I'm still figuring that one out). No alcohol (a.k.a. cleverly bottled yeast and sugar).
No coffee. Goodbye, Pumpkin Spice. Goodbye.
Start lining up for the Boring Party now. Get your tickets soon, because they're sure to go…not fast at all.
I'm being a bit over-dramatic. I'm actually looking forward to cleaning out my system, because the way I've felt this last week has been pretty dang cruddy. More than that - I've felt worse this past week than I have in years. Mentally, physically, and emotionally taxed - all day long.
|My new best friend for the next two weeks|
I probably won't have to be this strict forever; the yeast cleanse is a minimum of two weeks, and I'm supposed to decide where to go from there based on how I feel. I have a hunch I'm going to feel great. Then, it's just a matter of deciding whether I want to continue to feel great or go back to feeling like a dough ball again.
Stupid dough balls.